These documents paint a chilling picture of a planet-wide scheme to frighten us into replacing our swift, time efficient, fossil-fueled transportation methods with horse-drawn buggies for fear of Global Warming. Some uneducated readers might believe this would only be a nuisance, but it would actually cripple our economy! Without quick transportation, business will be much, much slower. And that's not the only problem. Industry relies heavily on fossil-fuel power. If the tree-huggers have their way, it will be impossible to mass-produce anything, including bullets. Our national security will be severely compromised!
The effects of this terrible conspiracy can already be seen. If you don't believe me, just look in the newspaper. The global economy is currently in a terrible recession which could yet become a second Depression. Are "subprime mortgages" really to blame? No. It is the fault of the Environmentalist Movement.
This undeniable fact is also supported by Al Gore's power bills. A few years ago, there was a mini-scandal when someone discovered that this Prophet of Doom's power consumption was, according to BusinessWeek's Bruce Nussbaum, twenty times higher than the national average. Of course, the liberal newspapers hushed it up. But Al Gore proves that the environmentalists are actually contributing to Global Warming to help their animal friends shut down our infrastructure. And after they succeed, we will be easy prey for the squirrels.
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