Recently I stumbled upon this whale just off the coast of Maryland in the Atlantic Ocean. The whale had a hammer and sickle branded onto it, so it must have been a communist whale. Then I realized that this communist whale was close to Washington D.C. and our President! So I went back to revisit this area in detail to evaluate how much danger the United States and the President are in and I was shocked to find that there was a brotherhood of communist whales. I had never seen such an assembly before, I could have sworn that there were at least 1000 whales with the communist logo branded onto them.
The communist whales will stop at nothing when it comes to resurrecting the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR), for they have proudly accepted the symbol of communism. Yesterday, I found their written plans to re-establish the USSR by bringing Lenin back from the dead and building intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBMs) to help aid in the war against Democracy. They plan to attack the United States with ICBMs and send 666 whales to kidnap the President. The United States is in grave danger and so is Democracy! We must stop at nothing to defend our President, our country, and its ideals!
We have two choices: either we do not take action and watch our country and its ideals crumble, or we take action to fight off this communist menace once and for all. To start, we should help Japan fight this oceanic menace by allowing and subsidizing whaling and we should convince other countries to help us before it is too late. The specter of communism has already haunted
Europe and was thought to be banished, but now it is back, and so is our obligation to end it.
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